It feels like a million years since I had the time to breathe, to think, to ponder. The past few weeks have been jammed with getting the boy off to school, getting him the supplies he needs but forgot, extreme deadlines at work, visitors in the office, horrendous heat. I am home today, as my husband is having some minor eye surgery this afternoon. I really needed this time!
I was able to sleep a little later this morning, I got my quilt top pinned and ready to quilt, did some laundry. I have had time to just sit and not rush from one activity to another. Peace. Quiet. No expectations.
I feel that my lifestyle fights my true self. I like to be alone, yet I ended up managing people. I love making things, but I am directing projects instead of creating. I hate the town I am in, yet I have been here almost 20 years. I feel I have been living in limbo. I need more extended time to think and ponder what I want my life to be. I know I love my husband, I want to spend more time with him. I want to live closer to where I work and closer to the trappings of modern life I enjoy. I want to live closer to my family. Now I just need to figure out how to make it happen.