Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Hump day

Well, it is the middle of a hot summer week and I am in the need of a serious vacation.
My ole buddy, Anxiety Attack, has reared his hideous head. Seems the mixture of strong pharmaceuticals, along with regular exercise and a good diet have lost the effectiveness.
I can't decide if I want to trudge back to the doctor for another ingredient in the cocktail, or wait it out. I haven't be able to function well in the corporate jungle this week. I know all the specifics. Anxiety is the body's reaction to stress, the old fight or flight response which dates back to our prehistory. But mine is short-circuited. I feel like fighting and fleeing, often at the same time. My dad says I'm high-strung, like a Thoroughbred.

Well, I will continue to try, each day. It is all I can do, until the man-cub gets a contract with the NFL or the CFL, then I can retire to the beach.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Precious alone time

Today, I stayed home alone. All day.
Spent most of it in my studio. Collaging, sewing, gluing, cutting.
I feel much better now!
Some of my work:

I feel good about what I accomplished.
A little more time for self-expression and I may feel great!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

a dog's life

I am trying to live by the dog's motto: if you can't eat it, or f**k it, p**s on it! Hopefully this attitude will keep my anxiety attacks at bay!
And as for today's title, my 2 mongrels lead a very cushy existence. They sleep in our bedroom (yes, on the floor), we feed them, water them and coddle them. All they have to do is wag and come when called.
I love my dogs. They do not talk back, they never slam the door and tell me they hate me, they never ask for money, they are always glad to see me. And usually all I ever have to add is a belly-rub for good measure.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

A New Chapter

The past few weeks have been an intense blur. Work has been stressful and frustrating. And my man-cub has been going through several end-of-school year functions compounded by it being his senior year. All this reached it's crescendo last night with graduation exercises. And now, 13 years (including kindergarten) is over in the blink of an eye. Most of the last 2 weeks I have been 2 seconds away from sobbing uncontrollably with the sense that so much has happened so fast. I have felt alternately excited, old, angry and forlorn. Seems many of the functions of this time have made a serious effort at evoking strong emotion. Do I hide my emotions away so deeply, that this angers me?
Anyway, the sun came up this morning. My dogs needed to go out. I made coffee. Life goes on.
One chapter ends, another begins.
And I am very proud of my son!