Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Forgiveness and a quilt

 my favorite Amy Butler dots, I can't post without a pic!

One of the great gifts about blogging is the connection you make with really great people you might otherwise not encounter. I read a lot of blogs through Google Reader and it was in this way I 'met' Jennifer of That Girl ...That Quilt... She several posts about why she quilts in her "Quilting without obligation series. It was her post of Sunday, May 24 that really spoke to me. Now since I provided you the link, you can read her story, and you will note that she ends it with a question: Do you have a quilting story? I do.

I am being deliberately vague to protect feelings, but I have had a relationship that for the most of about 15 years was quite contentious. And I never knew why. It wasn't just me, others felt the same way about this person. I was angry and resentful and finally decided to just avoid this person and the toxicity. All along I prayed for this person. At first it was just for their well-being, then I began to pray for healing. And the best thing happened, my heart was softened. I let go of my anger, because it wasn't accomplishing anything. And my feelings toward this person became just ambivalence, which is better than loathing! Then, out of nowhere, this person came back around. Not only engaging in conversation, but then asking for forgiveness. So then my feelings blossomed into love and caring. I had already forgiven, and felt this was such a gift. Now this person has person demons to battle and has been open about it. But I wanted to help. So, I made this person a quilt. And as I made this quilt, I prayed. I really believe the prayers and love I sewed into that quilt are still there. And I feel like I am the one who received the best gift. If I want to be forgiven (and I know that I am far from perfect!), then I needed to forgive. If I want acceptance, then I need to accept people as they are and not project my feelings or expectations on anyone. 

All things and relationships worth having, are worth working for and waiting for. And quilts help!


Mama Pea said...

That's a powerful story. Thanks for sharing. I am having difficulty forgiving someone for something and have struggled a lot with negative feelings. I keep telling myself I need to let it go...the loathing does no good (and it is not my nature...I have never felt this way before). I hope I can get to where you are with it! (If that person would ask for forgiveness, I think I could get down the road faster!)

The Scrappy Bee said...

The only thing I can say is AMEN.

Al Wood said...

Was a little worried til I saw 15 years, you have had to put up with me way longer than that. It is over half my life and all but 1 of yours since you are only 29 (lol)

That Girl said...

You DO have an excellent quilting story! Forgiveness is so powerful and you are right, we all have the need for forgiveness so giving it is good and very healing. I love that you also prayed as you made this quilt and I do believe that your prayers were woven into this special quilt. Thank you so much for sharing!

Jennifer :)