Thursday, February 8, 2007

dangling on a string


very weird day. odd 2 weeks. i feel like i am in a sort of holding pattern. is it just the doldrums of mid-winter? other design leaders let go today. my boss told me my role would not change (yet?). since he is has more responsibilities he has hired a new director of design to be based in nyc. i will eventually report to her.
is it any wonder that my panic attacks are running rampant? my heart pounds constantly. my new meds help my blood pressure but the pounding is wearing me out. my chest hurts. i feel exhausted. how am i supposed to develop new innovative products while i feel like a puppet?
if i get axed, i am going back to school full-time. what do i want to be when i grow up?

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