Sunday

It is another bright, sunny winter Sunday. Spent yesterday at the memorial of my uncle. He fought the demons of addiction most of his life. Found out though, he had been sober for 13 years, and had even given up cigarettes for the past 3 months. The life he had endured is now over, I hope he rests in peace.

On to other things:
The local media is crucifying our community leaders over the "Google" incentives. I see this as more sour grapes than anything. Google gave the story to the local media first. The right thing to do. Now the media outlets in the larger cities are practicing yellow journalism and focusing their suppositions on negatives in payment for the scoop-snub. My opinion? There is no such thing as bad publicity. And no other international company has been knocking on any one's doors to get into this back-wood burg. The old guard has left town to the cheaper pastures in China. The only way to build a future is to focus on industries of the future. This company will make other companies look to this location. Their activity will bring in other industry and opportunities. The press has written about the people that sold their homes so the land can be used for the server farm. Yes, some of the homes were nice. But many were little more than tar-paper shacks. And everyone was paid more than market value. If they had tried to sell before, in this very depressed market, they would have sat on the market for months.
If this had been left up to some our our community leaders, it would never had made any news. They would still be searching for another "big brother" furniture manufacturer to come into town, hire illiterate high-school dropouts, pay them just enough to afford a 4-wheel drive truck, satellite dish and double-wide, and keep the status-quo. Well, now, the balance of power will shift. One of the Charlotte Observer's columnists said that Google needs computer guys and all Lenoir has is unemployed furniture workers. Boy is he mistaken! Their are many people in this area that are not only computer-literate, they are tech-savvy. And are very grateful for this opportunity to make a good living doing what they love in their hometown. This also means the unemployed furniture workers' children have a future and a reason to focus on education. The farm has not been given away. Google gets nothing if they do not build.
If they do build and hire educated employees, those better-paid people need houses, and schools, and retail, and cars, and entertainment. I am educated and have to drive over an hour each way to a job where I am paid to do what I love and am good at. I know I am not the only one to see the exponential growth and diversity that will occur. The great little retail shops in the downtown area will thrive (visit Luna Cycles, Sledgehammer Charlie's, Bernhardt-Seagle). More will come in. People will have a reason to stay. We won't have to drive to Hickory or Blowing Rock or Boone for dinner, shopping and fun. Others will come here. We can sell our houses for a profit. And buy new ones in the high-rent developments going up in Collettesville and Globe.
Keep things the way they are? Then in 10 years this will be a ghost town. Our children will leave for opportunities elsewhere never to return. Then some big conglomerate will move in, pay nothing and rape and pillage the area to their heart's content.
Have a nice day!

dangling on a string

very weird day. odd 2 weeks. i feel like i am in a sort of holding pattern. is it just the doldrums of mid-winter? other design leaders let go today. my boss told me my role would not change (yet?). since he is has more responsibilities he has hired a new director of design to be based in nyc. i will eventually report to her.
is it any wonder that my panic attacks are running rampant? my heart pounds constantly. my new meds help my blood pressure but the pounding is wearing me out. my chest hurts. i feel exhausted. how am i supposed to develop new innovative products while i feel like a puppet?
if i get axed, i am going back to school full-time. what do i want to be when i grow up?

the big apple was cold

The bitter winter temperatures made this trip to NYC interesting. To compensate for the sub-freezing outside, every inside had the thermostats on extreme!!! Static, nosebleeds, dry pasty skin! How about a more temperate level of balance? I had to wear super, heavy duty winter garb from the room to the office, then I had to strip down to a tank-top in the office. Oh well, the meetings were intense, sales has already promised things that are going to be difficult to deliver, but the customer was excited. I have rallied my team and we are going to put our best effort forth. I just hope the rest of the manufacturing team can as well.

Glad I am home.

Sunny Saturday

Look what I did today! I had taken this pic of the man-cub after the Morganton 'cross race. I had a blast manipulating it. I love this high contrast look. He is my favorite subject, but he rarely lets me photograph him!
He went on the group ride this morning and returned with a bad cough. Hubby and I rode for about 45 min at the Greenway. The wind was wicked, but the sun felt nice. I can't stop grinning when I am on my bike. There is such a sense of freedom pedalling along with the breeze in my hair and the birds over head. I really enjoy it and can't wait for the days to lengthen so I can ride when I get home from work.
I have been packing for my trip tomorrow. I really wish I could stay home, but I am looking forward to the shot of energy NYC gives. And the excellent food!

even in low times, people step on you

It has been a weekus horribilious for me. The very strange gland swelling around my carotid artery started everything off on a very weird note. And as Hunter S. Thompson/Raoul Duke said, "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." All the professional weirdness made its way to my place this week. My weird illness brought my mother up to tend to me. While she was here, (and my Dad out of town) we received the news that her baby brother, my uncle had died suddenly. He was only 53. A poor lost soul, ravaged by the excessive drink and drugs he turned to throughout his life. He was a softheart, who wanted everyone to get along and wanted his family to be like a Norman Rockwell painting. This was not the case. My mother's upbringing was so horrific, she has completely blocked much of it out. She is a survivor, she was beaten and abused, but rose above it and became not only a great mother, but a successful woman. Her baby brother was always looking for familial approval, but my grandfather was always evil and my grandmother was so beaten into submission that he never got the true love he so sought. He died peacefully in his sleep.

Dealing with that has been bad enough, but as today's title suggests, in the depth of my morning and illness, more crapped has been heaped upon me. Customers of mine have complained greatly to our sales and marketing group. These particular customers are very high-maintenence. It was not enough that they vilified the efforts of my team, they also hate our yarns and colors and have complaints about our design abilities. But not enough to quit doing business with us. Oh, no. I got word at 6:30 this morning that I am to be in NYC at a meeting Monday morning with this customer to plan a big new collection. Why can they not try some possitive reinforcement? Why must members of the design community be so bitchy?



Normally I leap at the chance to get to the big apple. But trying to heal and mourn have made me long for my own home and hearth. It is Friday night and I am so glad to be here in my pajamas, with my hound at my feet, in front of my warm fire. Al and Jake are watching an old B&W movie, the fire is crackling. I will enoy these moments. Life is fleeting.

At least there will be no alarm in the morning...