a dog's life

I am trying to live by the dog's motto: if you can't eat it, or f**k it, p**s on it! Hopefully this attitude will keep my anxiety attacks at bay!
And as for today's title, my 2 mongrels lead a very cushy existence. They sleep in our bedroom (yes, on the floor), we feed them, water them and coddle them. All they have to do is wag and come when called.
I love my dogs. They do not talk back, they never slam the door and tell me they hate me, they never ask for money, they are always glad to see me. And usually all I ever have to add is a belly-rub for good measure.